Customer: Hi, I was wondering if you carry frozen rabbits here?
Employee: No, sorry sir, we don't.
Customer: Oh...okay, thanks anyway.
Employee: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Customer: No, thank you. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

thatspiderboy:

Reblogging your friends hot selfies to show them off like

image

(via nightbloggingvale)

(Source: a-s-if, via kindking01)

kindking01:

Is it bad to want to buy people clothing? Like, as a guy, there is some clothing I cant purchase and wear myself, but I constantly see cute outfits and things I’d like to see girls in ^_^ Thats not a weird from of dress up is it?

I actually do the same thing for guys and other girls.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

(Source: never-let--it-die, via thisworldcollides)

My nose felt really uncomfortable and so I felt inside it and was like whoaaa this is a huge booger so I pulled on it and it really hurt and then I was like oh yeah I have my septum pierced

peach-honey:

its super blue